After doing some critical reflection on how much has happened during this school year and throughout this year, I've come to realize how much I have grown and changed as a person. With this being my senior year, a lot has happened for me in terms of me planning for my future, as well as enjoying every moment of my senior year. After ending a long journey of looking at colleges, filling out applications, and waiting patiently (or impatiently) for acceptance or rejection letters, I can officially say that it is all over now that I have committed to one school-VCU!!
I used to think that choosing the right college for me would be an easier process, until I was faced with many different challenges and warnings about the school I used to want to go to. Family and friends of mine all told me not to consider going to Radford, but at first I felt that they didn't know what they were talking about. I kept telling myself that I was right all along and I would somehow prove them wrong about it--until I found out that there was some truth to what they had been saying all along.
That was when, after hearing from two people that I should consider VCU, which originally was just another school I applied to to have more options, became a consideration. I went onto their website, looked at their clubs, looked up vegan restaurants in Richmond, and immediately did a complete 180. I already had better feelings about this school even though I had never visited it.
About two weeks waiting almost desperately for a letter from VCU, I come home from school on Monday, March 12 to receive a thick envelope from them with my name on it. I race down the drive way, swing open the garage door and tear open the envelope to find a a VCU bumper sticker and a letter. My heart is racing and adrenaline pumps through my veins as I begin reading "Perhaps it is my greatest pleasure in welcoming students to Virginia's most dynamic university."
After notifying people that I had been accepted (via my snapchat story and my mom telling some relatives), I began to realize that maybe this was the school for me. However, I still needed to visit it to get a taste of what it was all about. So, later in the week, on Friday, I went on a campus tour of VCU. After one visit, I could already tell that this was a much better match for me.
The urban environment, the amount of vegan options that were available, and the diversity were what attracted me most to VCU. Just reading these signs allowed me to be more honest with myself than I had ever been about a big decision. It was almost as if the school was mirroring my exact thoughts and beliefs about who I am, which was how I knew it was the right one for me.
What This Experience Has Taught Me
1. Do not solely go by your feelings when making a big decision like this. Use your logic and reasoning skills.
2. Before deciding what is the right school for you, have an idea of what you are looking for in a school and compare with other schools to see what matches with what you want in a school the most.
3. Be patient. These types of decisions take time.
4. Be honest with yourself. If a school that you might like at first doesn't have what you need, it's okay to say it isn't for you.
4. Don't have your heart set on one school until you're ready to commit. Have some options, because your top choice can change (just like mine did!).
5. Do not tell a lot of people about where you want to go until you are getting closer to committing.
6. Just enjoy it! The whole process of filling out college applications might not be that exciting, but visiting schools, reading reviews online, learning more about the school, and researching the city or town it's located in can be.
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Saturday, March 3, 2018
What Failure and Rejection Have Taught Me
Have you ever wanted something so badly, that when you fail at attaining it, you become miserable? Because, me too. We've all been there when yearning for something and that when we don't get it, it feels like our world has turned upside-down. Like there's nothing to hold on for. However, failure and rejection don't need to be viewed as a life threatening experience. In fact, I'm about to share with you how I came to look at them as life changing experiences.
The last time I experienced rejection, which was about a month ago, I was devastated. I was really hoping this thing would work out, but due to other reasons, it didn't. "Am I good enough?" and "I shouldn't have said anything" kept spinning around in my head as I began to closely examine my new and altered reality.
I let myself dwell on this issue for a couple days, until one day I told myself to get over it. I had enough of feeling sorry for myself. This might have been a little too harsh, but it was necessary in order for me to allow the healing process to begin. That was when I began to learn from these unpleasant experiences.
Looking carefully at what had happened, I can now say that this rejection was meant to happen. If it weren't, it wouldn't have happened. I say this because I believe that everything happens for a reason. Realizing this allowed me to accept that just because I had failed at attaining what I was hoping for, I had actually won in the sense that I got what I needed.
Failure and rejection do not happen to us, but for us. This goes for anything in life. They happen to teach us to work harder, learn from our mistakes, and to reevaluate what we did wrong. This was what happened to me. I got rejected because I needed to experience not getting what I wanted so that I can have something better in the future.
So, I have been fortunate enough to experience rejection and failure in a lot of aspects in my life, but the one I had experienced last month really taught me to think carefully and be very present. I hope that I receive something better in place of what I had wanted before, so that I can follow up with this and provide some of you with hope that rejection and failure are really not the worst things to occur.
The last time I experienced rejection, which was about a month ago, I was devastated. I was really hoping this thing would work out, but due to other reasons, it didn't. "Am I good enough?" and "I shouldn't have said anything" kept spinning around in my head as I began to closely examine my new and altered reality.
I let myself dwell on this issue for a couple days, until one day I told myself to get over it. I had enough of feeling sorry for myself. This might have been a little too harsh, but it was necessary in order for me to allow the healing process to begin. That was when I began to learn from these unpleasant experiences.
Looking carefully at what had happened, I can now say that this rejection was meant to happen. If it weren't, it wouldn't have happened. I say this because I believe that everything happens for a reason. Realizing this allowed me to accept that just because I had failed at attaining what I was hoping for, I had actually won in the sense that I got what I needed.
Failure and rejection do not happen to us, but for us. This goes for anything in life. They happen to teach us to work harder, learn from our mistakes, and to reevaluate what we did wrong. This was what happened to me. I got rejected because I needed to experience not getting what I wanted so that I can have something better in the future.
So, I have been fortunate enough to experience rejection and failure in a lot of aspects in my life, but the one I had experienced last month really taught me to think carefully and be very present. I hope that I receive something better in place of what I had wanted before, so that I can follow up with this and provide some of you with hope that rejection and failure are really not the worst things to occur.
What I Have Learned About Putting Myself Out There
When we think about putting ourselves out there, we tend to get scared-to hold ourselves back. But putting yourself out there should not be something to fear. in fact, it can be looked at as an opportunity to express who you are. Here's what I've learned about putting myself out there.
1. It's good to express what you want. If this means speaking up for something you are passionate about, at least you know that the power is in your hands. This way, you know that you've done your part by stating exactly what you want.
2. Trusting the process. After I've out myself out there, I like to believe that everything will work out. After all, I've done my part.
3. Accepting that I can't control everything. Once you do your part, the next thing you must do is accept that you can't control what happens next. This way, you prevent yourself from getting disappointed in case things don't work out.
4. Failure is always inevitable. After not having certain things work out in my life, I have learned this: There's always that risk of rejection and failure. Sometimes, things will not go your way, but accepting that that is just how things are makes it easier to move on.
5. Watching everything come together.
6. When you finally receive what you want, you will be so grateful you put yourself out there. There have been times where I haven't gone after what I wanted, and I regretted that. Putting in the work by putting yourself out there shows yourself that you are ready to achieve what you want.
1. It's good to express what you want. If this means speaking up for something you are passionate about, at least you know that the power is in your hands. This way, you know that you've done your part by stating exactly what you want.
2. Trusting the process. After I've out myself out there, I like to believe that everything will work out. After all, I've done my part.
3. Accepting that I can't control everything. Once you do your part, the next thing you must do is accept that you can't control what happens next. This way, you prevent yourself from getting disappointed in case things don't work out.
4. Failure is always inevitable. After not having certain things work out in my life, I have learned this: There's always that risk of rejection and failure. Sometimes, things will not go your way, but accepting that that is just how things are makes it easier to move on.
5. Watching everything come together.
6. When you finally receive what you want, you will be so grateful you put yourself out there. There have been times where I haven't gone after what I wanted, and I regretted that. Putting in the work by putting yourself out there shows yourself that you are ready to achieve what you want.
New Fitness Plan
I am dedicating this month to focus on my body. I tend to focus a lot on my thought patterns and controlling my emotions, but due to a goal I have in mind, I have decided to commit to figuring out what works well for me and what doesn't when it comes to having a fitness routine. While I had originally intended to use yoga as my main source of exercise, after doing some research and due to what I want to have changed about my body is what is leading me to want to try other things.
My main goal with this is to see how consistent I can be. Can I exercise 4-5 days a week and not give up? How about two or three? I want to see what I can do to make this process easier and more fun than just work.
When trying anything new, I don't like going into an experience with limiting beliefs. I like to be as open-minded as possible. If something doesn't feel good, I'll slow down, take a break, or stop it all together. If I feel like I'm restricting myself from food that really will not do me as much harm as I think it will, I will allow myself to have some of it. Pushing myself too hard and beating myself up for things that simply do not work for me or are out my control is not something that I will tolerate. Before focusing on what needs to change about my body, I need to make sure that my mind is in alignment with it.
I am trying to tell myself that trying new things doesn't need to be scary or dreadful. As much as I'd like this to be a learning experience for myself, I'd also like to figure out how I can find pleasure within this whole process. I want to find planning workouts and trying new exercises to be enjoyable rather than boring. Doing this will probably allow the process to go by much smoother.
This is going to be a gradual change for me. Learning when and how much time I'll need for exercising are sure to come up during the month. I can't wait to see what this brings me.
Updates will be coming.
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
My Phone Usage
Starting on New Year's day, I began to set limits with my phone. I noticed that during the month of December, I would use my phone too much and it became a distraction. Once I realized this, I began changing how I used my phone. I wanted to start using my phone with intention, so I stopped using it during meals. Another factor that led me to this decision was that I spent way too much time on social media. I also wanted to begin using my phone in ways that interested me-not ways that distracted me. So, after a week of having no Wi-Fi and no cellular data in a foreign country, I made the decision to make some changes in my mindset and my phone usage.
When I began to not use my phone during meals, everything changed. I instantly began to form a new relationship with my food, I was less anxious, and I felt more present. It was a little weird, at first, just sitting in silence while eating my breakfast the first time when I did this, but it was worth it. I began to shift my attention from the productivity of eating to how I felt while I was eating. In other words, I started listening to my body, and stopped focusing on the fact that I was eating just to be doing something. Also, focusing on my food allowed me to enjoy it more and have more appreciation for it. I didn't feel like I needed anything to take my attention away from that, because I felt content in those moments.
Because I stopped using my phone at meals, I stopped using my phone at other times during the day. I stopped using it in school for the most part, after I had already scrolled through Instagram or Twitter once during the day, before I would go to bed, and when I would wake up. I filled in those times of the day doing other things, like journaling, yoga, meditation, and focusing more on school work.
During this time, I began to view my phone as a tool. I started to use it in ways that helped me instead of distracting me. I began to find things, like podcasts, that interested me. I also started to place more importance on texting people over scrolling through social media. I also would not go on social media as a reward when I finished my homework, because I started realizing that just focusing on anything in the present was a reward itself.
Making this kind of change allowed me to focus and feel better. I am much more present, alert, less anxious, and content without using my phone that much. I highly recommend trying this.
When I began to not use my phone during meals, everything changed. I instantly began to form a new relationship with my food, I was less anxious, and I felt more present. It was a little weird, at first, just sitting in silence while eating my breakfast the first time when I did this, but it was worth it. I began to shift my attention from the productivity of eating to how I felt while I was eating. In other words, I started listening to my body, and stopped focusing on the fact that I was eating just to be doing something. Also, focusing on my food allowed me to enjoy it more and have more appreciation for it. I didn't feel like I needed anything to take my attention away from that, because I felt content in those moments.
Because I stopped using my phone at meals, I stopped using my phone at other times during the day. I stopped using it in school for the most part, after I had already scrolled through Instagram or Twitter once during the day, before I would go to bed, and when I would wake up. I filled in those times of the day doing other things, like journaling, yoga, meditation, and focusing more on school work.
During this time, I began to view my phone as a tool. I started to use it in ways that helped me instead of distracting me. I began to find things, like podcasts, that interested me. I also started to place more importance on texting people over scrolling through social media. I also would not go on social media as a reward when I finished my homework, because I started realizing that just focusing on anything in the present was a reward itself.
Making this kind of change allowed me to focus and feel better. I am much more present, alert, less anxious, and content without using my phone that much. I highly recommend trying this.
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Attachment and the Need For Control-My Experience
The other day, I listened to an episode of a podcast by Mind Body Musings. The episode covered a topic which I had been thinking about for awhile, connection verses attachment. It was so inspiring and impacted me in a profound way. Now, I am evaluating whether I am connected or attached to certain things.
I bring up the fact that I listened to this episode on the podcast because I've had certain experiences where I needed to learn what I can and cannot control. Yesterday and this morning felt very chaotic-like I couldn't control what was going on in my life. I had to work on two projects for school until the last minute, I didn't know that I had an AP Psychology test today, and I was assigned more homework than I expected. It wasn't until one of my friends told me that it wasn't in my control of my test being scheduled today, that it hit me. I'm not in control of what happens to me, but I sure can control how I react.
So, I made the best of certain situations today. I took two tests that I didn't feel prepared for and accepted the fact that I'll have to change up my afternoon routine.
Having these experiences today allowed me to let go completely of attachments I was holding onto. I learned that I don't need to control everything outside of me in order to be happy, and that it's okay if it feels like my life is falling apart. When this happens, it gives me the opportunity to work on myself by allowing myself to completely be in the moment and let go of anything that isn't serving me.
Lastly, when I let go of these things that kept weighing me down, I allowed myself to receive new opportunities. One of these things was finding out that the AP Psychology test isn't going on this quarter's grade. If I had gone to the nurse and pretended to be sick during it, I would've missed this opportunity to not risk my grade from going down.
So, I'm glad that I managed to experience these events while maintaining good control of myself.
I bring up the fact that I listened to this episode on the podcast because I've had certain experiences where I needed to learn what I can and cannot control. Yesterday and this morning felt very chaotic-like I couldn't control what was going on in my life. I had to work on two projects for school until the last minute, I didn't know that I had an AP Psychology test today, and I was assigned more homework than I expected. It wasn't until one of my friends told me that it wasn't in my control of my test being scheduled today, that it hit me. I'm not in control of what happens to me, but I sure can control how I react.
So, I made the best of certain situations today. I took two tests that I didn't feel prepared for and accepted the fact that I'll have to change up my afternoon routine.
Having these experiences today allowed me to let go completely of attachments I was holding onto. I learned that I don't need to control everything outside of me in order to be happy, and that it's okay if it feels like my life is falling apart. When this happens, it gives me the opportunity to work on myself by allowing myself to completely be in the moment and let go of anything that isn't serving me.
Lastly, when I let go of these things that kept weighing me down, I allowed myself to receive new opportunities. One of these things was finding out that the AP Psychology test isn't going on this quarter's grade. If I had gone to the nurse and pretended to be sick during it, I would've missed this opportunity to not risk my grade from going down.
So, I'm glad that I managed to experience these events while maintaining good control of myself.
Sunday, January 7, 2018
My 2017 Personal Journey
2018 began this week, and I've been giving a lot of thought about my plans for this year. As I've done so, I began to reflect upon my accomplishments for what I did last year and I'd thought I would share what I've learned.
2017 was a very productive, insightful, and exciting year filled with many new opportunities for me. As I watched myself overcome challenges, stand my ground, and create a completely different life for myself, I began to step into my true power. Doing this allowed me to cultivate a new relationship with myself and show myself who I am rather than who I thought I was.
Beginning with a painful growth period, I learned to grow and accept myself for my flaws. I also learned to stand up for myself, appreciate myself , and the little things that life has to offer. I learned to take on more responsibility, create a schedule, speak up for myself, say 'no', establish boundaries, embrace my uniqueness, create more by journaling and blogging on here, and fully accept myself and others.
I also learned the importance of taking care of myself on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level. I have an increased interest in eating healthy, doing yoga, meditating, journaling, and surrounding myself with positive people. I truly feel that I have helped myself adjust to a new way of life by doing all these things for myself. Now, I want to help others do the same.
From this experience, I realized the power of self-healing. It has influenced my decision to want to go into the field of psychology. I realized that by healing myself from certain experiences, letting go of old thoughts and feelings that no longer serve me, and by listening to my friends' problems and giving advice, I could really help people in my profession. This has led me to want to become a life coach when I am older.
As I have learned, grown, and experienced so much about myself in 2017, I stepped into my true power. Now, I am ready to share my insights and knowledge with all you. I intend to share more posts based on personal experiences on here. Here's to another great year!
2017 was a very productive, insightful, and exciting year filled with many new opportunities for me. As I watched myself overcome challenges, stand my ground, and create a completely different life for myself, I began to step into my true power. Doing this allowed me to cultivate a new relationship with myself and show myself who I am rather than who I thought I was.
Beginning with a painful growth period, I learned to grow and accept myself for my flaws. I also learned to stand up for myself, appreciate myself , and the little things that life has to offer. I learned to take on more responsibility, create a schedule, speak up for myself, say 'no', establish boundaries, embrace my uniqueness, create more by journaling and blogging on here, and fully accept myself and others.
I also learned the importance of taking care of myself on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level. I have an increased interest in eating healthy, doing yoga, meditating, journaling, and surrounding myself with positive people. I truly feel that I have helped myself adjust to a new way of life by doing all these things for myself. Now, I want to help others do the same.
From this experience, I realized the power of self-healing. It has influenced my decision to want to go into the field of psychology. I realized that by healing myself from certain experiences, letting go of old thoughts and feelings that no longer serve me, and by listening to my friends' problems and giving advice, I could really help people in my profession. This has led me to want to become a life coach when I am older.
As I have learned, grown, and experienced so much about myself in 2017, I stepped into my true power. Now, I am ready to share my insights and knowledge with all you. I intend to share more posts based on personal experiences on here. Here's to another great year!
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